You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Randomize
