Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
