just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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