he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
