someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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