I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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