Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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