I showed him my bush... on skype.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Found your dick twin last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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