Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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