I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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