I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
