He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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