Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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