im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
