My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
