It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
