I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I didn't notice because vodka
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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