Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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