Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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