how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize