Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
