idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.