im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine