He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
