Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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