i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
