Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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