how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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