yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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