dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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