3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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