Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
