Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
