yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
