But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
this beer tastes like vomit already
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
