I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
