I got chris browned last night
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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