Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
