this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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