I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
