how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
