Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
