do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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