he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
