I want to have your abortion
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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