YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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