He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
