the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
