It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
