1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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