first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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