I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
