dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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