no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
