I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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