I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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